Ashlandsblog

“I mean it’s strange, isn’t it? Worrying about what people think? Anyone that says that is lying too. You can’t care what everyone thinks anyway. There’s about 8 billion people and I definitely don’t care what all of them think. All details of life are-“ 

she pauses for a moment and interrogates her surroundings. And quickly adjusts her crown. Eyes narrowing, a takes a mighty drag of her cigarette, like we’re in smoking lounge. Long earrings, swaying like chandeliers “- consequential and inconsequential at the same time. The answer is in everything, born one day, decaying since then. Something sweet like milk to something bitter, smiling ear to ear then slowly your cheeks are too heavy to smile like you once used to. You can make your life mean something or nothing at all, if it doesn’t mean anything? do fuck all. Who cares and maybe you’ll feel a twinge of misery. Maybe persistently, or you can make everything mean something and have a latent comforting thought that it all matters. Both come with pain. I can convince someone to go on a little longer, to grab on a little longer, to see things a different way, if that doesn’t work? Burn your eyes, and rely solely on other senses. You better appreciate what’s before you, even if you’re used to it. I can be cruel too, I can wonder. There’s better out there, but I know there isn’t. Better is in me, and it’s in you. You’ll go searching for something, you’ll definitely find something but nothing becomes part of you like what’s already made of you.

There really are no more lessons, I’ve been kind, and forgiving, passive and confrontational, direct and mean, silent and reticent, sharp and ambitious, clear and concise, calm and collected. There’s no reward but the self.

So yeah I do think- wait what was the question Ash?”

“Do you like Taylor Swift?”